I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize