youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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