It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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