i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I can feel your judgement through the phone
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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