i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
