Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
