none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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