You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
