do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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