YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
