Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
