So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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