Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
