kristin has been a bad kristin
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize