Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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