I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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