I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
