I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
They took my balls.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
