apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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