And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
