Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
