dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
