made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
