Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We have started to decorate penises.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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