He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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