Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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