singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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