I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Alive.
So much puke
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
