Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize