I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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