I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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