Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
