Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize