my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
