It's just like the Real World with babies
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
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She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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