what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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