I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
