A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
