Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
