His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
