So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
