1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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