It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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