she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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