Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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