I feel like abortions should bother me more
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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