Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
