Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
