my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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