I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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