I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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