I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
