It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
