I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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