ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
