It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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