Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
