I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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