Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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