from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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