OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
