also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Do vagina's smell?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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