More tranny stories later!
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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