Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
