FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
