yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
