I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
