please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
That's how pantless uber rides happen
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
