And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
