You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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