You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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