I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think people are normalizing furries
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
