Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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