how can u be prego again
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i need some magic done to my vagina
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
